Yes we are friends again? Khush hone wali baat hai hai n .... Lekin Khushi ki jagah Rona kyu aarha h ? Chest me constant pain kyu ho rha hai ? Pata nhi. Wo life me tab aaye jab mai ekaant se dosti kr chuki thi. Wo aaye fir us akele pan se bahar nikala mujhe. Maine nhi bola tha ki mujhse pyaar karo. Tab mai duniya se darr rhi thi. Tab unhone mujhe pyaar kiya, tab wo duniya ka nhi soch rhe the. Tab jab bhi mai koi sawaal unse krti to har chiz aasani se sort ho jayegi aise reply krte the. Pr jab mai nidar ho gai sabse, to wo Darr gye. Ab jab mai unpr rely hone lagi to suddenly unhe yaad aaya ki he can't hold me. Mujhe koi shikayat nhi h unse. Shayad ye nirnay le wo ek ache bete sabit ho jaye. Lekin, fir mujhe kis baat ki saza mil rhi h mujhe ye nhi pata. Maine nhi kaha unse ki mere kareeb aao lekin wo fir bhi aaye. Shayad ye kuch wakt pehle realise kr pate wo to aasan hota hum dono k liye sirf dost Bane rehna. Lekin ab bahut mushkil h sirf dost Banna. Koshish krti hoon ki normal baat karu lekin wapas se dil ko unse pyaar ki umeed hoti h. Haan unhe lagta hoga ki mai patthar dil hoon lekin mujhse nhi ho rha ye. Raten ro kr bitana aasan thori hota h. Jab mai in sab cheezon k baare me sochti thi n pehle to mujhe bhi lagta tha ki sab mushkil hoga , sab kaise hoga, lekin fir jab se unpr vishwas krna shuru kiya tha , unke pyaar pr vishwas krna shuru kiya tha , tab se aisa lagta tha ki chahe kitni bhi mushkilen aayengi hum sath me jhel lenge. Mai badal jaungi or wo bhi. Agar wo mere parents ko accept kr lenge to mai bhi jaroor kr lungi , Puri koshish karenge. Lekin fir I realised that wo mere liye shayad kabhi kisi se nhi ladenge. Mai kabhi ye nhi chahti thi ki wo parents se dur ho, maine hamesha yahi socha ki agar hum sath honge to humare dono parents ki blessings se hi. Haan ye bhi pata tha ki sansaar bahut aarop lagayega mujhpe. Mai suddenly sabke liye ready ho gai thi. Socha tha ki hum dono apne parents k sath abroad shift ho jayenge. Wahan sab sath me rahenge 😂. At least hume wahan koi question nhi karega. Pr haan ye sab easy nhi hoga and suddenly I was ready har hardship jhelne k liye for the sake of love lekin ab samjh aaya ki for the sake of love , I should let him go. For the sake of love , I decided to be friends with him. Coz shahe kal ko unki shohrat kisi k bhi hisse jaye , unke tough time me unke paas rehne ka pehla haq mera hi h. Haan kal ko wo apni mumma se mere baare me kuch na share kare, kal ko unki life me koi or aaye to hum kabhi baat n kare lekin jab unke paas koi nhi to mera hona jaroori h. Shayad block Kiya hota to jayada aasan hota. Tassali rehti ki ab baat hi nhi krni , lekin har wakt jee chahta h ki unse baat karu , unhe jee bhar k dekhne ko jee chahta h , gale lag kr rone ko jee chahta h lekin pata h ki ab kuch bhi possible nhi h. Khud ko sambhalna padega mujhe. Chahe abhi kitna bhi ro lu mai lekin kal ko unke samne jau to meri aankhon se aansu n aaye. Mummy jab unke baare me puchti h to kaise khud k aansu Roku samjh nhi aata. Dil me abhi bhi ek umeed si aati h ki zid karu maa baba se. Jaise unke allahabad aane k liye kiya tha waise hi zid karu. Lekin fir mai akeli kitna zid karu ? Kash thori zid wo bhi krte. But wo nhi karenge. Mai hamesha se sochti thi ki kisi aise well stabilised man k sath hi settle hongi. Lekin after him I thought ki hum sath me grow karenge , ek dusre ki strength ban kr. Unke alawa kisi ko dekhne ko bhi jee nhi chahta. Didi ne bola ki mai or logon se baat krna shuru Karu. Unko kya batau ki ab or kisi pr bhi vishwas nhi kr paungi kabhi. Unke alawa kisi or ko nhi dekhne ka Mann hota. Lekin baat ye bhi h ki ab unhe bhi dekhne ki himmat nhi mujhme. Pehle jitne excitement se unke videos or photos ko sambhalti thi ab ab apradhbodh hoga. Himmat hi nhi h. Darr lagta h ki kahin apne aansu rok n pau to. Mujhe apne parents k samne atleast nhi tootna. I don't know maa baba ne kya socha h lekin wo jo karenge acha hi karenge. Mai unse strength maang rhi. Koshish kr rhi to be " friends " with him again. Lekin time lagega. Mujhe pata h unhe bhi takleef ho rhi hogi lekin mai is baar unke takleef ko apne hisse nhi le sakti. Unhe gale nhi laga sakti. Unke aansuon ko samet nhi sakti kyuki ye haq kho diya maine. Shayad yahi sahi h kyuki kal ko unke ghar wale agar meri family ko disrespect krte to mai nhi seh pati. Mujhe pata h ki shayad mere parents accept kr lete , shayad mai mana leti lekin unki taraf se agar meri family ko koi disrespect krta to wo sambhav nhi tha. Adi tab shayad meri side nhi lete. Haan unke liye apna ego kuchal deti mai lekin apne papa ki respect nhi. Unke parents jaise chahte waisi banne ki koshish kr leti mai. Unhe utni hi respect deti jitne apne parents ko deti hoon pr kya pata wo aisa kr pate ki nhi. Haan kuch bhi aasan nhi hota lekin aasani se mil jaye wo pyaar thori, maa baba ko jab khud apne pyaar k liye ladna pada tha , jab baba ne khud disrespect jhela hai maa k liye to fir hum humans kya chiz h . But it's okay at the end , jab wo nhi chahte to I won't force him . Or force bhi Karu to kis chiz k liye. Pyaar maang k nhi milta. Mai unki life me koi struggle nhi Banna chahti. Haan ek wakt unke liye koi winning trophy banne ki ichcha jaroor thi mann me. Ki Adi ne mujhe jeeta h sabse ye keh pati mai. Sabko batati mai. Lekin ..... Mai bas itna chahti hoon ki wo life me hamesha khush rhe. Jiske sath bhi ho hamesha khush rhe. Unke winning speech me Mera naam bhale hi n ho kabhi lekin unke struggle me mai sath thi is baat ka Santosh h mujhe. Kal ko maybe wo kisi or ko pyaar kr lenge. Kal ko unki taraf jee bhar k koi or dekhega , unka shoulder koi or hold karega. And ..... And that's okay , mere mann me koi jealousy nhi h bas dukh h Thora , kash wo sab kabhi experience hi n kiya hota to itna dukh nhi hota. Pr ek baat ki tassali h ki wo jab tak ADI the , tab tak mere the. Maine unke hamesha kaha tha ki Danish pr hoga dusron ka haq lekin Adi pr sirf mera adhikar h. Adi sirf mere paas h. Or hamesha rahenge. Dil me bahut Dard hota h lekin fir samjha le rhi khud ko ki ab mera adhikaar nhi. Unhone pucha ki kya wo mujhe kabhi gale nhi laga payenge, or maine bola nhi. Poora keh hi nhi pai, ki ... Ki unke gale lag k rone ka mann h , lekin unke gale lagne ka adhikaar nhi. Ki agar unke gale lagi to shayad fir unhe jane hi n du. Lekin mai unhe baandhna nhi chahti. Mera unke liye jo bhavna h wo kisi bandhan ka mohtaaj nhi h. Maine bina kisi bandhan or adhikar ke unko apna samarpan diya h. Pr shayad unhe ye or nhi chahiye tha. Wo koshish krte , apni maa se baat krte , unhe samjhate ki jab wo successful honge to aisa hoga etc etc or tab maybe wo is decision pr pahuchte to mai Maan leti ek hadd tak. Pr unhone Bina kisi koshish k haar maan li. Kash wo bhi mere liye maa baba jid krte . Pr ye sab sirf kash h , jo ki shayad ab kabhi poora nhi hoga...... Ye kahani shuru ki thi to pata nhi tha ki isko is tarah ek end dena padega. Sab kuch acha karne k liye isko likha tha lekin.....